Cream of The Crap

One Eyed Monster is a movie that you may have or havent heard of. For you that havent, its..well lets say you just need too see it with your own eyes.

YOU MUST WATCH THE TRAILER. PLEASE? Not (too) safe for work, unless you work for Vivid. 

Pure awesomeness.

The four co-founders of website The Pirate Bay have been found guilty of assisting the distribution of illegal content online by a Swedish court today and have been sentenced to a year in jail and a $3.6m (£2.4m) fine.

Charges against the site, which allows web users to access music, movies and TV shows without paying for them and claimed 22 million users during February, were brought by a consortium of media, film and music companies led by the International Federation of the Phonographic Industry.

via theguardian

This had to be the most heart-breaking story I’ve heard in a while. These four people have been working hard to provide, and they get jailed for? Where’s the justice in this world? Is this the end of torrents as we know it? Is the end of courteous file sharing and living harmoniously as we know it? Afraid not, here’s a screenshot I captured earlier today:

I love you, Pirate Bay

Power to the People!

Lets all toast to the days when we just feel like we didn’t fit in, those days when we feel misunderstood, those days when we just want to say “stay the fuck away from me.” 

These are the songs for one of those days that we realize we are basically alone. 

1. Fiona Apple – Why Try to Change Me Now

"I'm sentimental, so I walk in the rain. I got some habits, that I can't explain."

This anorexic beauty covers a song by Cy Coleman about not fitting in. I envy how Fiona Apple always managed to look so sullen, so composed, the kind of composure that makes you feel she could slit her wrists any second without flinching.

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When did this blog starts to get random and just plain bizzarre? *Right about now, hombres, right about now.* I’m thinking of making this just fun to look at without any complexities, preconceptions, prentiousness or whatever. So we’re taking a break from music and movies and moving on to bizarre, random things I found on the internet. It’s also my wishlist, really.

Behold, I present to you, THE Boyfriend Pillow.

this girl knows amputees can be so hot

via oddee

Oh how I want one! Admit it, you all have pretended your pillow is really Antonio Banderas that’s gotten fluffy and is wearing a flowery sack. No? It’s called Imagination 101, my friends. FYI, its on sale on Amazon. Go get me one, please?

..and what better way to do that than posting a picture of a guy in a kick-ass dinosaur costume. I may be having some sort of quarter-life crisis or whatnot but after seeing this guy, i just want to go, “ay chill mamacita.” I seriously want this costume. Why? If you have to ask, that, is the difference between me and you. I know just enough to never question a guy in a dinosaur suit. Never.

Dad? Is That YOU?

via geekologie

(you know..if I wanted to)

Here’s to another random music list that was in my dashboard draft and decided to let out. I think everybody got songs they wanna fucking cry to. Whether its the stupid, similar to your life lyrics, the memories brought back by the song or, just whatever. Sometimes you just want to close your eyes, put on some songs, pray to god it rains today and get in the mood for a little boo hoo, because you know, there’s a little teary eyed, eyeliner wearing emo, in all of us.

1/ Mariah Carey – I Stay in Love

Our favorite 8 octave girl sings a song (and sometimes talk rap) about..well, staying in love and riding shotgun next to your boy. I tried to sing this at karaoke. No one cried.

2/ Jason Mraz – Beautiful Mess

A friend once said, what is it with girls and Jason Mraz? Well I admit, he makes me feel like a beautiful mess. Scratch that. More like Just a Mess. I’m sure you all have this song already.

3/ Explosions in The Sky – Your Hand in Mine

No lyrics to get nonsensical at, this song is just plain emotions pouring out. Convey this to your convenience. Interpret this, listen to this while driving, listen to this until you fall asleep.

4/ Portishead – Music to Fuck To

I do not know why. Do not ask questions.

5/ The Streets – Dry Your Eyes

Maybe because the song keeps telling you to do the opposite, maybe because Mike Skinner is such an emotional Brit, maybe because there is really no more fish in the sea.

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Vicky Cristina Barcelona is a 2008 film written and directed by Woody Allen. The film stars Javier Bardem, Penélope Cruz, Scarlett Johansson and Rebecca Hall.

The plot centers around two American women, Vicky and Cristina, spending a summer in Barcelona, where they meet an artist who is attracted to both of them while still enamored of his mentally and emotionally unstable ex-wife María Elena.

or..I Want to be Mrs Javier Bardem

Let me do a quick review on the movie that won Penelope Cruz an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Frankly, I never thought much of Penelope Cruz other than being crazy enough to date Tom Cruise, but in here she outshines Scarlett Johansson, who I am also a fan of, but you know how I hate men can’t get past her boobies and lips and nobody really gave a fuck on her acting skills.

So Scarlett’s has been Woody Allen’s latest muse and judging by the man who married his adopted daughter, you know that he’s just a wee bit pervert. You know, just a bit. I’m just saying this to help myself understand his work more. So in Vicky Christina Barcelona you have these two hot actresses, and you have Woody Allen as the writer and director. That ought to be good, right? Very, very good.

I especially like the beautiful Barcelona and Oviedo sceneries and the narration of the whole story. The movie has some sort of sadness wrapped in beauty. It’s aout feeling uncertain but being too scared to do anything about it. And Javier Bardem also gives an outstanding performance as womanizer-but-really-messed-up-inside Juan Antonio Gonzales. I fell for him since the first scene. What woman wouldn’t give in for a sexy spanish broken soul?

You know what? I’m going to stop rating these films.

Before Sunset (2004) is an American film, the sequel to the film Before Sunrise (1995). Like its predecessor, the film was directed by Richard Linklater.

Nine years have passed since the events of Before Sunrise, when Jesse (Hawke) and Celine (Delpy) had met in Vienna. Since then, Jesse has written a novel, This Time, inspired by his time in Vienna with Celine, and the book has become an American best-seller with Jesse doing a book tour. The last stop of the tour across Europe is Paris, and Jesse is doing a reading at the bookstore Shakespeare and Company. As Jesse talks with his audience, flashbacks are seen of him and Celine in Vienna; the memories of their night together have clearly remained with him despite it being nine years later. Celine appears in the audience and sees him and he, in turn, recognizes her. Jesse has a short time before his plane departs, and invites Celine to share it with him. 

or..What the Hell Hapenned to You, Celine??

Okay, I admit, Before Sunrise and Before sunset are two very hard movies to argue with. Even if I did not like it, I can’t say why. I don’t really know. 

I guess, then we go 9 years from the first film, and watch their reunion in real time. The movie also sets 9 years from when they first met, and as the flashbacks of the first film plays, you see how much age has taken its toll on Julie Delpy and I would’ve said the same with Ethan Hawke, but he is seksi as hell. So as the move plays out, we see two people having a conversation and it gets more personal this time, because their in their thirties, and time is shorter now than last time.

So I guess, what would you do if you had a second chance with the one that got away. That, amigo, is the movie tag line, and it captures the essentiality of this movie. So I guess we’d have to have the cliche of unhappy marriages and relationships because we need to feel less guilty of feeling so good about meeting the woman that you wrote a book about. I guess every one deserves a woman or man that got away that you can think to yourself, I think she could’ve been the one. But this movie skips all the complexities of a relationship and just picks up on, I really like you, even more than 9 years ago. So let’s just keep talking.

I relate to this movie. People are just people, they like to throw away what they have for a chance of finding greater happiness, truer love, better conersations, wilder sex. I would disagree on some parts, but if 9 years ago I had an American fuckbuddy who’s also a suave talker, plus he’s unhppy with hs marriage, so I might be doing him a favor right, and my boyfriend is away, and plus I don’t really like my boyfriend that much anyways, so maybe I..

never mind. I have become mushy over these movies and then, after I gave it some thought, I have turned almost robotic. My romanticism is fucked.

Lets just say this movie is as dope as its prequel.

Now here’s the part where I watched a double disc DVD feature, back to back, of what is arguably two of the most romantic movie without any visible fucking or heavy groping.

The first of the duo, Before Sunrise is a 1995 drama film directed by Richard Linklater and written by Linklater and Kim Krizan. The film follows Jesse (Ethan Hawke), a young American, and Céline (Julie Delpy), a young French woman, who meet on a train and disembark in Vienna, where they spend the night walking around the city and getting to know one another.

or..French Girls will Get Off the Train with You if You Look Like Ethan Hawke

You should know by now if I put words in a blockquote, it came from Wikipedia or someplace else, I’m too lazy to be making shit up.

Okay Okay Okay Okay

This movie stirs up a lot of distinct emotions in me.  Firstly because I’m a girl, and every girl dreams of being approached by a handsome young American (and plus, not a  psycho, but I guess handsome precedes pyscho) on the train ride back to Paris. The girl would have a big flowing messy hair and this Ethan Hawke look alike would still fall for her. He would be a love skeptic, she would be somewhat diabolical, but they will hit it off. They will have great conversations. These conversations are so great that it justifies an European one night stand in the park.

Yes, I call Before Sunrise by its alternate title: One Night Stand in Europe with a French Chick Who Seems Like a Feminist but Really Isn’t. But Maybe She Is.

But I fucking loved it. I loved the flow of the whole thing. Seriously, Richard Linklater made this feel nothing like an American movie. It’s so avant garde, its so French, its so beautiful. The long pauses, the awkward “I really want to touch your hair” move, Julie Delpy’s fresh face, Ethan Hawke’s crooked teeth. Almost perfect. Almost.

I liked Before Sunrise. Next, we’ll talk about why this movie is not perfect in my opinion, plus, we’ll review Before Sunset. Yes, sunrise comes before sunset. Unless you think the chicken comes before the egg. Duh.

Dopeness factor : 4.0 out of 5.0