Cream of The Crap

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Archive for January 2009

Sweeney Todd : The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

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200px-sweeneylarge

Do not buy toothpaste from this guy

Its a musical.

That’s what our friends say when we asked how was Sweeney Todd.

As if that could explain everything this movie has to offer. First of all, I love Tim Burton. Second and thrid, I love Johnny Depp and I love those two together. Fourth and most importantly, Helena Bonham Carter. 

I must admit I aspire to be like her.. I’ve seen her as the crazed faker in Fight Club, Bellatrix Lestrage in Harry Potter, and uh, the witch in Big Fish. Tim Burton and Helena does great together, I looked it up, they are domestic partners, that explains everything big time.

Okay as for the movie, the singing was okay, I feel that Johnny Depp’s part tend to get dull, where Helena Bonham Carter’s exciting and playful, but that’s maybe to put things into character. I love how all the story goes steady and slow in the beginning and in the last 15 minutes it feels like Tim Burton wants to wrap things up as quickly as possible. So the plot becomes something like, “Oh shit, WHAT?”

So thats what I’m going to do, wrap it up quickly. 

Dopeness rating : 4.0 out of 5.0

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Written by strangelittlegirl

January 25, 2009 at 11:51 am

Asian Horror Movies: One Missed Call and A Tale of Two Sisters.

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Happy new year, everyone! I know its been ages since i last wrote (this is the same thing i say all the time) But! Behold! I havent been writing because I’ve been busy! Am I not busy now? While that’s arguable, I just wanted to say that I watched 2 Asian horror movies this past days (on Youtube, while at work), and I need to write it out, so those pale skinny women with long hair, err rephrase: pale skinny women with long hair and DEAD! would stop nagging me.

Chakushin Ari

or...Ooops! I Missed My Date

The first movie I watched is called One Missed Call. This is the original Japanese version, not the Americanized hollywood crap. It also goes by the name Chakushin Ari, which I really like saying because One Missed Call does NOT sound like a horror movie. It sounds like a movie about someone getting duped on a date, or missing a test, or missing an important call from a  client.

So the movie is  a missed call that gives a message about the impending death of its victim.

I Know. I Knoooow.

I’ll proceed. The message is time stamped in the future, and an unseen force is supposedly causing these deaths. What’s really bothering me, is the execution of this already flawed formula. The movie just had to go and rationalize the murders just so that the murders can happen. The hospital scene was very very weird.

Weird is putting it lightly. WHAT THE FUCK? is more like it.

The story clearly did not bother finding a decent plot to fill out the gaps. Instead it just left it there, gaps with pus oozing out. I think this movie is crap and Hollywood remade a crappy movie, which just made it even crappier. While I really like Kou Shibasaki (who plays the lead character), I think she’s more suitable for a J-Drama, namely the one with Takuya Kimura on that drama about flying airplanes and she was the technician and she and Takuya finally kissed after that long hour flight..and..

I sound like a geek. Do not worry, I only happen to know one J Drama.

Dopeness factor: 1.5 out of 5.0

Lotus and Rose

or..Adolescents on Heavy Flow Days

The second movie, a gem from Korea, goes by the name of a Tale of Two sisters. Now this is some good shit! The horror was believable, the casts were solid, the performances stunning, the story smooth, slow-paced and very very well thought out. I loved it!

It tells the story of two sisters, where one just got back from a mental hospital following her mother’s death. Back at home, the sisters learned that the father had remarried another woman, their mother’s former nurse. Thus, a battle of wills began when strange things are happening in their house.

The score is just gorgeous. This one is a must see. And oh yeah, the Americans already made a remake, called The Uninvited, it will be out this year, and yeah, I’ll be watching. Maybe. On DVD, pirated DVD.

Ah fuck it, the Americans are lucky if I even torrent their shit.

Dopeness factor: 5.0 out of 5.0 A-fuckin-mazing!

Written by strangelittlegirl

January 20, 2009 at 3:15 pm